In 1933, an overwhelmed and pissed off girl named Frau despatched a letter to psychologist Carl Jung, asking “find out how to dwell.”
(She didn’t have any Instagram influencers to yell motivational platitudes at her, I assume)
Jung replied:
“Your questions are unanswerable, since you wish to understand how one should dwell. One lives as one can.
…should you do with conviction the subsequent and most crucial factor, you might be at all times doing one thing significant and meant by destiny.”
He was sharing the important thing to life.
It’s a part of restoration communities like Alcoholics Nameless.
It was even the title of a music in Disney’s Frozen 2.
“The following proper factor.”
Revisiting this story brought on me to replicate on how a lot my ideas on success and progress have modified over time.
“Success” Redefined
I’ve been doing this Nerd Health stuff for 15+ years.
Tens of millions of individuals go to the positioning yearly, 50,000+ prospects have purchased stuff via NF, and our coaches have served 15,000+ 1-on-1 shoppers.
In that point, I’ve modified my perspective fairly a bit on “success” and “dwelling nicely.”
I used to suppose that the one path to success required militant self-discipline following a selected plan. I by no means missed a exercise, and was unbelievably pleased with this.
It didn’t happen to me simply how a lot of a privileged and simple life I lived, the place I used to be 100% answerable for my time.
(Apologies to all of the dad and mom and caregivers who learn my 25-year outdated perspective!).
Now that I’m 40, and I can see the kinds of folks we really assist with Nerd Health, I’ve modified my perspective on success and “dwelling nicely” pretty dramatically.
Success occurs not after we discover ways to do all the things completely, however as an alternative after we get higher at staying afloat even when issues go poorly.
In different phrases, success is studying to be inconsistently constant. Studying to be adequate for lengthy sufficient.
And which means, when life appears chaotic, narrowing our focus right down to “the subsequent proper factor.”
Do the Subsequent Proper Factor
A recent newsletter from creator Oliver Burkeman talked about how he’s chosen to retain a tiny little bit of sanity in an awesome world.
It led me to those sentences from creator Eckert Tolle:
“What you consult with as your “life” ought to extra precisely be referred to as your “life state of affairs.” It’s psychological time: previous and future.
…Overlook about your life state of affairs for some time and take note of your life.
Discover the “slim gate that results in life.” It’s referred to as the Now.
Slender your life right down to this second. Your life state of affairs could also be filled with issues — most life conditions are — however discover out when you’ve got any downside at this second. Not tomorrow or in ten minutes, however now.
Do you could have an issue now?
Once we ruminate on what already occurred, and we freak out about all of the issues that might occur or must occur sooner or later…
It’s simple to really feel uncontrolled and overwhelmed.
Which brings us again to that cliché answer: “the subsequent proper factor.”
It’s a cliché solely as a result of it’s true.
We will zoom wayyyyyy in, and slim our focus to one thing that’s nonetheless in our management. In some conditions, sure, there’s a downside proper now. And we will simply concentrate on that one factor.
However in lots of different conditions, it’s usually us worrying about all the issues that could be, or the issues exterior of our management, that retains us from taking motion on the precise issues we will management.
Burkeman continues:
As for telling myself I solely wanted to do the very subsequent factor… you at all times solely can do the very subsequent factor, then the subsequent, whether or not you prefer it or not.
It’s a bit of unusual, really, to consult with any of those methods as “narrowing your horizons”, as in the event that they concerned by some means artificially limiting your self.
Actually, you’re simply consciously recognizing how restricted you at all times already have been.
Everyone knows how simple it’s for us to overcomplicate things.
And when the world looks like a dumpster hearth, it could possibly assist to zoom approach into that subsequent resolution, the tiniest aim, and simply do the subsequent proper factor.
It would contain a exercise or a stroll, specializing in the subsequent meal, calling up our therapist, or finally saying no to a dedication.
If “now” is the one time that exists, then “the subsequent proper factor” is the one factor that we will actually do.
I’m gonna go do the subsequent proper factor for me: take a stroll.
-Steve
PS: Maria Popova has a great writeup about “the next right thing” because it pertains to her life as a author that impressed this piece.
PPS: Nerd Health is hiring a number of distant, part-time people (particularly with versatile nights and weekends) to take inbound, scheduled calls from potential shoppers about our 1-on-1 teaching. Click here to learn more.
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